Why You Should Stop Being "Realistic" if You Want to Achieve Big Things

Nutjob. Crazy Woman. Unrealistic. If I would have told you my goal a month ago, those are the words you would have called me. Imagine me saying, “Yeah, I’m starting this podcast, it hasn’t launched, but I’m going to cold email the founder of Baby Einstein and interview her on the show, as well as a Journalist from the “Washington Post” who is part of a team who won a Pulitzer Prize. And by the way, I have never done a podcast before, I have no experience with the technology, nor do I have any training in broadcast radio, or any connection to these two women.” In your dreams lady. I wouldn’t blame you for thinking that. I often judge my dreams and goals more brutally. Lisa, why would anybody be on a podcast that doesn’t exist? Quit being a dreamer and start being realistic. Stop wasting time on things that are never going to happen.  But here’s the thing. I secured both interviews without having a single podcast live. I can finally ditch my inner critic. Take a hike you negative witch. Aiming for unrealistic is easier than aiming for mediocre. This article is going to show you: 

• Why Aiming for Unrealistic is Easier than Aiming for Realistic - Why insecurity is normal and why it is actually an advantage
• The 15-Minute Per Day System to Achieve the Unrealistic - How to break down your goal and why small steps every day will prevent burnout.
• How to Shush Your Inner Critic -  What to do when you have self-doubt, are afraid of what others will think, or are just plain being a Debbie Downer.
• The One Step You Need to Do Today to make sure you take immediate action and don’t fall into the “I’ll do it tomorrow” trap.
• My Personal Story Through this Process - See how I started small and made it possible to achieve big things.

Why Aiming for Unrealistic is Easier than Aiming for Realistic

The 4-Hour Workweek author Tim Ferriss writes, “Doing the unrealistic is easier than doing the realistic...99% of people in the world believe they are incapable of doing great things, so they aim for mediocre. The competition is thus fiercest for realistic goals.” In the book, Ferris uses the example that it’s much easier to pick up the one “10” in the bar than it is the five “8”’s. That it’s easier to raise $1million than it is to raise $100,000. What This REALLY means. I’m not telling you that you can single handedly solve world peace. While I am giving you permission and encouragement for seemingly impossible goals, there’s a difference between things that look unrealistic but really aren’t, and things that really are unrealistic and could never happen. The key is looking for goals that seem unrealistic, but really aren’t. Does doubling your gross income in a year seem unrealistic? Depending on your current gross, you could certainly say so. But truthfully, it isn’t unrealistic at all. Does getting on a major network television show like “Good Morning America” to promote your product seem impossible? Maybe it does, but it isn’t. I bet you’ve seen plenty of products on these shows and thought, “eh, that’s mediocre, my product is better.” I’m going to show you why this principle works, how I’ve used it, and my four step system to achieving unrealistic goals.   

Why This Works: Insecurity

“Doing the unrealistic is easier than doing the realistic...if you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself.” -The 4-Hour Work Week Do you know why it might be easier to get your product featured on national television than on a local TV station? Because just like you, the rest of the world is insecure. They don’t believe their product could ever get featured, so they don’t even show up to the game. They might think they have a much greater chance of getting a story written about them in their regional newspaper. But so does everybody else. And when their local media ignores them, it’s evidence to their inner critic that they couldn’t possibly be featured nationally. My Experience: When I decided to cold email Julie Clark, Founder of Baby Einstein, I was insecure. I thought, “She probably has so many people knocking on her door. She’ll never give me the time of day.” She emailed me back three minutes after I clicked send. The person I was most insecure about emailing was the person who responded the quickest of anybody I’ve emailed. Thinking back on it, she’s been featured in national news media , but probably doesn’t get badgered with requests from every Tom, Dick & Harry like I thought.    

The 15-Minute a Day System to Achieve the Unrealistic

I’m going to teach you my 4 Step System for achieving unrealistic goals. By nature, achieving the unrealistic sounds hard. By breaking down your goal it becomes easy. These are the four key steps to making it happen.   

Step 1: Decide on your goal

What is your “unrealistic” goal? Write it down. Now analyze it. Does it just seem unrealistic (doubling your gross income), or is it actually impossible (solving world peace)? Chances are, you aren’t giving yourself enough credit for what you can achieve. Personal example: Creating a world-class podcast with recognizable & prestigious guests was something that seemed really hard, but I knew wasn’t actually impossible. It got me thinking, who has done this before? After a little research, I learned John Lee Dumas of Entrepreneur on Fire interviewed a shark from Shark Tank on his show after only being live for two months.   

Step 2: Why does it seem unrealistic? Write down everything you can think of.

Write down all of those little voices inside your head telling you how impractical you are. What are you afraid of? What are you insecure about? Personal example: 

• I have never done a podcast, so why would anybody agree to be on my podcast without hearing a past episode first? (Worried about credibility)
• I don’t have a facebook following or email list to promote the podcast, so I can’t give them any of these stats when they ask. (Worried about credibility)
• My current guests aren’t well-known names, so why would a big name want to do this podcast? (Insecure about myself)
• If I tell my friends and family about this, they are going to think I’m nuts and tell me there’s know way I can do this. (Insecure about what my friends and family will think)

Step 3: Combat your fears and hesitations in Step 2.

The #1 hesitation you are likely feeling about your goal is being insecure about yourself, what others will think, and feeling as if you don’t have enough education/experience in what you are about to attempt. You are likely feeling others won’t think you’re credible, especially if you’re just starting this big goal. The Solution:  Leverage your Past Successes Leveraging your past successes, even if they have nothing to do with your current venture, will give your confidence and boost your credibility. When people see you have been successful in other areas, they will instantly see you as a high achiever and believe you can do the same in your current work. 

• Where in your life have you been successful, big or small?
• Do you have other products, businesses, or a day-job where you’ve won awards or have been recognized?
• Have you been featured in a smaller newspaper, or even a blog that isn’t well known?
• Who has used your product or idea successfully, and where have THEY been featured? Use the success of others to be credible by association.

 Personal example: When I started cold emailing entrepreneurs to interview, I used the successes I had in my photography business to gain credibility and boost my own confidence. I also used the successes of my past interviewee’s to show the quality of interviews I would be bringing. Here is a portion of what I wrote after inviting them to be a guest: “Right now I have an interview lined up with the founder of Baby Einstein, and have already completed 11 interviews including women who have been featured in places like Forbes, Good Housekeeping, USA Today's Modern Woman, and the Huffington Post. I own a professional photography studio, but also personally have a passion for making mom entrepreneurs lives better - by showing them how they can spend less time on work and more time with their families. I have been featured on Ramit Sethi's, I Will Teach You To Be Rich, and have recently received one of (7) awards in Montana from Headwaters RC&D as a 2014 Business That Makes a Difference. I have also been featured in Montana Magazine, The Montana Standard, and my photography work has been published nationally in The Wall Street Journal, Tasting Panel Magazine and more.” More credible by association examples: Another example could be a business, life or health coach. Maybe your business hasn’t been featured in larger media, but have any of your clients been featured? If so, you can now write, “I work with clients who have been featured in …” These two examples probably aren’t going to fit your business like a cookie cutter. Start getting creative about how you can be credible by association.   

Step 4: Break down your unrealistic goal into bite sized, realistic chunks.

Lets be realistic here. You don’t have time. You’re working between naps while trying to cook dinner, fold laundry, and heaven forbid, get a 10-minute shower in for yourself (something you consider a luxury). If you plow into this project full force working on your big goal 8 hrs/day you’ll likely fail. You’ll lose motivation, burning out, then say it was too hard to begin with, and go back to your tiny goals. To succeed in your unrealistic goal we need to break it down and work on it in baby steps. Step A: Determine the next action step for your goal.  What needs to happen next? What can I do in 15 minutes that will get the ball rolling? For me, Step 1 was figuring out how to write an effective email that would make someone want to be on my podcast.   Step B: Write out your next five action steps It’s important to list out your next action steps to make things easy on days 2-5. You need to know what to do or you’ll “just figure it out tomorrow.” Personal example:  Step 1: research how to write an effective email to people of high stature Step 2: create an email template using the principles in Step 1 Step 3: google “successful mom entrepreneurs” and come up with an interview wish list. Step 4: choose 1 interview candidate and research them online. Step 5: customize the email template created to the interview candidate and send the email. Step 6: repeat steps 4-5 with another candidate.  Step C: Put it on your calendar. Mark all five action steps on your calendar, preferably for first thing in the morning before checking email, so you make it a priority and don’t end up putting of your goals for the next day/week/month/year.   

How to Shush Your Inner Critic

People will think I’m crazy if I tell them my unrealistic goal. Don’t tell people your goal, but do tell them your results when they happen. Understand if you start telling people your unrealistic goals, the results will be skepticism. Don’t take it personally and don’t start to believe the naysayer. I just don’t know if I can really do this. Ride your roller coaster of confidence. Start by listing the small successes in your business and life. If you get a small win in your current goal, ride the feeling of accomplishment by moving on to your next step at that moment. Personal Example: After an amazing podcast interview from the first guest I cold e-mailed, I was feeling confident and unstoppable. I leveraged that confidence to cold email three more potential guests. I don’t have time. You’re working more hours than you want and your brain is telling you to focus on the “realistic” things right now that bring in the bread and butter of your business. Lets be brutal with ourselves. We make time for the things that are important to us. How many times are you checking facebook, email and text messages? We can all find 15 minutes per day to work on goals that will take us to greatness. 15 minutes per day will get me nowhere fast! One action step for 15 minutes, 5 days per week, is 9 hours and 20 action steps in one month toward the seemingly impossible. Do you know where 0 minutes and 0 action steps in a month gets you? Nowhere. And chances are, you own brain isn’t going to justify spending 2-4 hours/day on the “unrealistic.” So be realistic in being unrealistic for just 15 minutes per day.   

What to do TODAY to make sure you don’t fall into the “I’ll do it tomorrow” trap:

Lets get the ball rolling now. Before you go in depth in the system above, spend just 5 minutes and write down: 

1. Your unrealistic goal
2. The first 15 minute action step.
3. The day and time you have calendarized your action step.