Success: 35 Barriers to Entry
Ever feel like prosperity has been avoiding you? Or like true happiness is giving you the cold shoulder? All too often we can be our own worst enemy. Whether we're afraid of failure- or worse yet, afraid of success, we need to learn to tackle that which is holding us back so we can live a life rich with abundance. Here are 35 things you need to arrest right now in order to live the unapologetically successful life that you deserve.
1. The need to always be right
“This need to be right has put a huge burden on me, one that I never deserved to have to carry. Part of it, I know, is cultural--in this age of information at a moment's notice, we've come to expect people to have answers--the right answers--at the drop of a hat. I feel very fortunate that over the last decade or so I've been able to leave the need to be right behind me and move on with my life with a more healthy perspective. I'm now willing not just to admit that I'm wrong, but also to stick my neck out with ideas or thoughts that may be wrong. The possibility of being wrong no longer threatens my emotional well-being; if I'm wrong, I'm wrong, and I learn from that.” - Tom Walsh
2. Living up to other people's expectations
“If you spent your life concentrating on what everyone else thought of you, would you forget who you really were? What if the face you showed the world turned out to be a mask... with nothing beneath it?” - Jodi Picoult
3. Doing what you're 'supposed' to do
“There's two kinds of people in the world. The ones who do everything that's laid out for them, 'the supposed-tos', and then there's the people that look above it and do what they want to do. I prefer the latter, but maybe that's just me. A 'not-supposed to'.” - Margaux Froley
4. Doing what everyone else is doing
“You remain a follower for life when you pay for what people do while nobody pays you for what you do. Do something impressive and become a leader!” - Israelmore Ayivor
5. Denying your 'self'
"Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light." - Brené Brown
6. Negative self-talk
“And then I decided to be pro me. Be pro you to the end. No more cutting up myself and serving up myself like pieces of a pie for everyone's tasteless palates. And that doesn't mean you don't know how to say sorry; because being pro you means being pro growth and pro improvement.” - C. JoyBell C.
7. Fear of failure
“Never let your fear of the unknown and things being too difficult make your choices for you in life. One of the saddest lessons in life is finding out that your fear made the situation worse than what it was and a braver person stole the dream you gave up on.” - Shannon L. Alder
8. Blaming others
“We habitually erect a barrier called blame that keeps us from communicating genuinely with others, and we fortify it with our concepts of who's right and who's wrong. Blaming is a way to protect your heart, trying to protect what is soft and open and tender in yourself. Rather than own that pain, we scramble to find some comfortable ground.” - Pema Chödrön
9. Living in a bubble
“Solitude is a chosen separation for refining your soul. Isolation is what you crave when you neglect the first.” - Wayne Cordeiro
10. Self-doubt
“It’s not about being ready or feeling prepared all the time; sometimes you just have to do what you know you have to do. And when you do – you will always see that you’re more ready and more prepared than you realize. Never doubt yourself or you may never do anything of significance.” - A.J. Darkholme
11. Perfectionism
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it.” - Anne Lamott
12. Limiting beliefs
“Never surrender your hopes and dreams to the fateful limitations others have placed on their own lives. The vision of your true destiny does not reside within the blinkered outlook of the naysayers and the doom prophets. Judge not by their words, but accept advice based on the evidence of actual results. Do not be surprised should you find a complete absence of anything mystical or miraculous in the manifested reality of those who are so eager to advise you. Friends and family who suffer the lack of abundance, joy, love, fulfillment and prosperity in their own lives really have no business imposing their self-limiting beliefs on your reality experience.” - Anthon St. Maarten
13. The need to control
“How would your life be different if you stopped worrying about things you can’t control and started focusing on the things you can? Let today be the day you free yourself from fruitless worry, seize the day, and take effective action on things you can change.” - Steve Maraboli
14. Taking things for granted
“If you are satisfied, you bring your satisfaction to the moment and fill the circumstances of your life with that satisfaction. If you are dissatisfied, however, no one and nothing can produce contentment for you.” - Ariel and Shya Kane
15. Fear of letting go
“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” - Ann Landers
16. Self-sabotage
“Those who say life is knocking them down and giving them a tough time are usually the first to beat themselves up. Be on your own side.” - Rasheed Ogunlaru
17. Worrying
“Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” - Corrie ten Boom
18. The need to always be 'in the know'
“Knowledge is too final. Not knowing lets you dream a little.” - Shaun Hick
19. Overanalyzing
“They say, 'Look before you leap' So look. But do not look for too long. Do not look into the void of uncertainty trying to predict each and every possible outcome, to evaluate every possible mistake, to prevent each possible failure. Look for the opportunity to leap, and leap faster than your fear can grab you. Leap before you talk yourself out of it, before you convince yourself to set up a temporary camp that turns into a permanent delay on your journey into your own heart.” - Vironika Tugaleva
20. Judging
“How would your life be different if…You stopped making negative judgmental assumptions about people you encounter? Let today be the day…You look for the good in everyone you meet and respect their journey.” - Steve Maraboli
21. Assuming
“When you make any assumption, you are preparing room for error.” - Toba Beta
22. Procrastinating
“Habitual procrastinators will readily testify to all the lost opportunities, missed deadlines, failed relationships and even monetary losses incurred just because of one nasty habit of putting things off until it is often too late.”- Stephen Richards
23. Depending on others for happiness
“True happiness starts within oneself, do not depend on another for total happiness, your entire heart and essence of your being is worth so much more. Always be mindful that a person can destroy you with one single action or sentence when they know your heart is in their hands.” - Rashida Rowe
24. Overworking yourself
“Life will always get busy, make time to do the things you love.” - Lailah Gifty Akita
25. The need to impress
“Never let your circumstances drive you into spending your energy trying to impress people who you believe would judge you for every single thing that you do. Moreover, why should you waste your energy and time on people who are not willing to let you be your true self?” - Edmond Mbiaka
26. Being a victim
“No one is ever a victim of life; we are all volunteering to grow.” - Shannon L. Alder
27. Jumping to conclusions
“People who learn some correct detail about another person's life at once draw conclusions from it which are not accurate, and see in the newly discovered fact an explanation of things that have no connexion with it whatsoever.” - Marcel Proust
28. Pretending
“Let us not pretend to be someone else. It is better to be hated for what we are than to be loved for what we are not.” - Sham Hinduja
29. Hoarding knowledge
“If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it.” - Margaret Fuller
30. Comparing yourself to others
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” - Theodore Roosevelt
31. Living without intention
"Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen Hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regrets. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is." - Mary Anne Radmacher
32. Ignoring the moment
“In life one has a choice to take one of two paths: to wait for some special day - or to celebrate each special day.” - Rasheed Ogunlaru
33. Resentment
“Anger — it's a paralyzing emotion, you can't get anything done. People sort of think it's an interesting, passionate, and igniting feeling — I don't think it's any of that. It's helpless. It's absence of control — and I need all of my skills, all of the control, all of my powers. Anger doesn't provide any of that. I have no use for it whatsoever." - Toni Morrison
34. Toxicity
“Your attachment to unhealthy people and bad habits, which offer you no real control, is why you’re spiritually dying and living a life out of balance.” - Shannon L. Alder
35. Resistance to Change
“There are two kinds of people. One kind, you can just tell by looking at them, at what point they congealed into their final selves. It might be a very nice self, but you know you can expect no more surprises from it. Whereas, the other kind keep moving, changing. They are fluid. They keep moving forward and making new trysts with life, and the motion of it keeps them young. In my opinion, they are the only people who are still alive. You must be constantly on your guard against congealing.” - Gail Godwin Are you guilty of any of these offending habits? If so, what can you do to change them?