From perfection to mediocre: how to become "good enough"

How many times have you heard someone in the personal development industry tell you to give up mediocrity?“Be extraordinary”, they say. “Create an exceptional life”, they say.I fully admit I am one of “them”. I’ve said this to my clients and audience many times. There’s nothing wrong with it, in fact, it can encourage us to find some inner strength to deal with certain situations or circumstances.There’s also nothing wrong with mediocrity.Mediocrity can bring a sense of accomplishment for some. Simply being “good enough” has a certain freedom to it. As a recovering perfectionist, “good enough” has never been good enough for me. I’ve always attempted to make everything perfect for everyone. That mindset has paralyzed me from time to time, and it’s stolen my happiness more times than I can count. I had no idea that being imperfect was cool until I read WHY IMPERFECT IS COOL…from Gabriella Ribeiro of The Mogul Mom.The way I see it, extraordinary is on one side of a continuum and mediocrity is on the other. When we find that sweet spot in the middle, we find true freedom and harmony.So, how do you find that sweet spot? I’ve got a few ideas that I’ve integrated into my life quite successfully.#1: Give up negative expectationsI know that expectations are a big part of the landscape of humanity. It would be foolish of me to tell you to get rid of expectations all together, so I won’t do it. I don’t enjoy setting people up for failure.What I will tell you is that negative expectations are killers. They lay the breeding ground for self-fulfilling prophecies and communicate to the Universe that you have no faith in it, yourself, or others.Expecting people to be a certain way, situations to be handled a certain way, and things to go your way only lead to disappointment and frustration. When this happens enough times the negative emotions and limiting beliefs that come with the negative expectations start to accumulate.Keeping in mind the big picture can help you have positive expectations about the outcome which opens the door for the positive vibes to come rushing in so everyone is happy, content and aligned to the main intention. Wow! What a concept-cooperation.#2 Open your eyes to what mediocrity can bringLike pretty much everything in life, mediocrity has some gifts for you, if you’re willing to see them. In my constant pursuit of perfection I often forgot to stop and enjoy what I was doing.Most parents want to make their kids birthday parties super special. It doesn’t take much to fall down the rabbit hole and bust your ass to make your 6 year olds birthday Pinterest worthy.Last year for my son’s birthday I decided to have a swim party in our newly renovated pool. In the middle of the party I stopped for a moment and soaked in the love that filled my backyard. There were over 45 people eating, swimming, laughing and playing. I decided early in the planning process that I was letting go of having to have everything perfect {and to stay off Pinterest}. I even asked everyone to bring a side dish {gasp! oh yes, I did!}.It was the best party ever!!! Many of my college parties had nothing on this one. I opened my eyes to the love and friendship that mediocrity brought me that day and it was gorgeous.#3 Realize that the line from extraordinary to mediocre is actually fluidFrom extraordinary to mediocre, and everything in between, life ebbs and flows. Allowing some things to be mediocre allows room for other things to be uber extraordinary.I refer to my son’s party again-a mediocre party led to an extraordinary experience. Without the need and expectation to be Pinterest Perfect I flowed and harmonized with everything that was going on at the party, even the part where one mom freaked out about the amount of peeps swimming.Another way I keep the fluidity between extraordinary and mediocre is to practice gratitude for the mediocrity in my life, and most of all, gratitude for myself. I am doing the best I can with what I have, as we all are. Edith Paul talks about self-gratitude and gives some great tips in HAVING GRATITUDE FOR YOURSELF…A GIFT TO EVERYONE#4 Define what mediocre means to you, then go with thatWhen I’m taking a look at my life and whether I’m happy or not, I don’t go looking to the dictionary to tell me what something means. I may consult it for a basic definition, but then I break it down and create a picture in my mind of what that really means to me. I take that definition inside and see how it feels. If I get a good feeling, I go with it. If not, I keep exploring.#5 Leave the baggage at the airport, and don’t get replacementsWhen negative experiences happen in our lives and we don’t know how to process them, like when we’re children learning to navigate this crazy world, the emotions we feel start to build up. Over time that accumulation of energy gets bigger and bigger, causing some major problems-spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically.Think of a beach ball for a minute. You try and try to push that thing underwater just for it to come popping back up in your face. Push negative emotions down enough and they’ll pop up when you least expect it, probably at a time that’s not so convenient.So how do you know if you’ve got baggage? Well, you’re human for starters. Also, when your reaction is out of proportion to the situation at hand, that’s baggage.I’ve got really good news, though. You can release that baggage and learn how to deal with your emotions in the moment so they don’t re-accumulate.There are different modalities that can be used. I prefer the Mental and Emotional Release technique and other mindfulness based exercises. These techniques have helped me release much of the anger, fear, sadness, and anxiety that has plagued me my whole life. They made such an impact in my life I decided to train in these techniques so I could help others create their Fiercely Fresh Life. I still get afraid, sad, and anxious, but now I deal with those emotions when they show up so they don’t get a say in how I behave.Life is crazy enough without having to be perfect all the time. A wide array of experiences give us the opportunity to learn what we need to learn in this life. It’s the variety in our experiences that make us whole.There you have it. How to be “good enough”. If you just can’t give yourself permission to accept a little mediocrity in your life, I’ll give you permission. Now go, be mediocre and see what opens up for you.